The woes of apartment hunting...

Dear NYC,

It would be really, really great of you if you could provide me with a broker who is moderately honest and doesn't forget what I told him/her two seconds after I said it.  A broker who doesn't try to show me every nasty apartment in the upper east side except for the one I asked to see would also be much appreciated. 

While I am asking, could you provide me with an apartment that has at least one bedroom (preferably two) with at least one of the bedrooms that might actually hold a queen size bed?  A door that allows me to shut out the cats would be awesome, and I would also like a decent kitchen with things such as more than one cabinet and temperature gauges on the oven knobs. 

If you were feeling particularly generous, you might consider a building with an elevator and laundry and maybe even a diswasher thrown in there for good measure.  A doorman isn't necessary, but wouldn't it just make you feel good to know that you are keeping a girl safe in your streets?  Some of my friends have really cool rooftop decks, and I would just hate to not be able to keep up with my colleagues.  It would be a shame.

Oh, and one last thing, can it be priced at least under $1700 a month? Oh! And near the hospital and subway station too.  That would be just so great of you, and I would forever be indebted. 

Please, please please??!? In the meantime, I will be waiting patiently.

Kinda.

Ok, not really.

Your new friend,

Jennifer