The Art of Small Spaces

If you have never experienced the market in New York that we call real estate, then you have no idea the crazy, competitive creature it can be.  Any ideas that you may have had in Texas regarding apartment hunting should swiftly be thrown out the proverbial barred window.  For instance, I lived in a 700 sq ft loft apartment in Galveston with all stainless steel full-sized brand new appliances, washer/dryer in unit, dishwasher in unit, mahogany cabinets, granite countertops, and walk-in closet.  I paid $700 a month.  Granted, I got a great deal. But if I were to find an apartment like that here in New York, I would expect to pay closer to $2000 a month...if I wanted to live in Harlem.  Actually, if I were to live in an equivalent apartment in the area where I am living now, I should expect to pay something closer to $2500 to $3000.  It's just the nature of the beast. Having spent the last few months poring over Craigslist ads, I have a decent idea of the market.  Here is my conclusion:

The Ideal New York Apartment

1. It would be anything over approximately 400 sq ft.

2. The ceilings would be high enough that when you reach up, you don't touch them. 

3. There would be a laundry room in the building, or if not in the building then at least in the area.

4. Rarely, you might find one that has central heat and A/C.  Mind you, central heat can also mean that the landlord/super controls the temperature for the whole building, which is piped into your apartment through a permanent radiator type thingy ma-bop.

5. It might have it's own separate bedroom. But there are stipulations to this as well.  For example, any room that has a window can technically be called a bedroom.  So a large studio can deceptively be called a 1 bedroom.  A room that is no larger than a small closet can also be called a bedroom even if it is only large enough for one person to stand in the middle of the floor with arms at their sides and look out said window.

6. There is actually light in the apartment, i.e. you don't feel as if you are living in the worst dungeon in all of New York, only the second worst dungeon.

7. It has an elevator. Again, this is quite rare.  And this is something one has to take into consideration, as the Fresh Direct grocery deliveries have a policy that forbids delivery to any walk-up above 5 floors.

8. If there is a dishwasher and/or microwave in the apartment, you might as well go ahead and collect your lottery winnings with it as well and don't even THINK about asking for a balcony.

9. There is a closet in the apartment that is at least 3 times larger than a "center for ants." (If you can tell me what movie that is from, we will be friends.)

10. You aren't paying a broker fee, which can add up to as much as $3000 to $4000. 

11. There is a doorman to greet you on those lonely nights when you are feeling particularly like a loser.

12. Your appliances were made in this century, and in addition, are large enough to actually, you know, MAKE FOOD.

I am sure there are many more things I can add to this list.  However, I am attempting to adjust my way of thinking and adapt to these new surroundings.  Therefore, I will focus on the positives.  In my apartment for example, I have come across:

The Conveniences of Living in a Small Space

1. I don't have as much to clean - not that I really clean that much anyway, but the rare times I do, oh man, it's on.

2. While taking a shower, everything I need is within reach.  I realized this one morning as I looked over and saw that my toothbrush was within arm's length.  I have started brushing my teeth in the shower.  Likewise, if there is a towel any where in the bathroom, there is no need to get out of the shower in order to retrieve it while dripping water all over the bathroom floor.  It's THISCLOSE. 

3. I can easily find my cats.

4. Getting up to fetch the remote control is no longer such a chore.  Interestingly, I have a remote control to my A/C unit that sits in my window...I am just not sure what I would do if I had to get up and walk the 1 foot distance to adjust the temperature.

5. On that note, heating and cooling isn't as much of an issue.

6. And last but not least, the small space allows you to get cozy with any loved ones who may stop by to visit...and the neighbors, and the people on the street, and the delivery men, oh and the dog next door. You might actually feel as if you have friends, in some weird, stalkerish, I-don't-really-know-you-but-I-KNOW-you sort of way.

So see, what's there to complain about really?  For anyone who doesn't know, I am currently only subleasing a fully furnished apartment until the end of August when I can find something more permanent.  Let's just all hope that I still maintain an upbeat outlook by Sept 1.

Lauren, on the other hand, hit the jackpot.  She opted for the very affordable subsidized housing that NYU Medical supplies to their residents.  When she told me this, I pictured your typical ancient dorm room with some strange, looming smell and that weird dorky foreign neighbor who looks at you strangely out of the corner of his eye in the elevator. Boy, was I wrong.  She has a lovely studio in a brand new building with a dishwasher, very large closet, central air and heat, decently sized bathroom, and full kitchen.  Plus, she has this view (from her 12th floor apartment wall that is totally glass):

Yes, that would be the Empire State Building and Chrysler building.  Geez, some girls get all the breaks. ;)  Oh well, maybe I will find something spectacular come September.

While on the subject, I was reminded last night about at least one of the inconveniences of having a small space.  My bedroom at present can only accommodate a door OR a bed but not both.  There would be no way to open the door without it hitting the bed, so the door has been removed.  While this is not usually a problem since I live by myself, I did forget one little thing.  The Stupid.

The Stupid (aka the Stupid One, Chicken,  Xerox - see the second blog entry) is my orange tabby.  He is a very, very sweet and loving cat. But He. Is. Stupid.  He has very annoying habit of waking me up at 4 AM because that's when it's fun to find anything in the apartment that makes noise.  While he has always done that for as long as I have had him, I usually have the option of just shutting the door, listening to his yowling for about 5 minutes, and then going back to sleep.  Not anymore.  So he, being the punctual young bloak that he is, awoke me at around 4:15 AM with his usual scratching, which this time took place under the bed.  I turn on the light and see tiny little paws coming up out of the cracks at the foot of the bed.  I then lean over the edge, and this is what I see...

Yes, that is the end of a lizard.  A lizard. 

I am looking at this lizard through blurry, sleepy, very angry eyes and wondering to myself, is this for real?  Is this some sort of New York thing to have lizards in your apartment? So I poke it.  Yeah, I didn't really know what else to do but poke it.  It doesn't move.  Hmm... So  I finally did the only thing I knew to do and went to get a paper towel.  I didn't know what to expect.  Is there going to be a bloody half on the other end?  If it is real, is it still alive? Meanwhile, Kiki, my other cat, has a look on her face that is the cat version of how I am feeling...

This look says, "Why are we awake, and just how stupid can this annoying male be?" Blink, blink.

Exactly, Kiki.  Exactly.

Well, it turns out that the lizard was just a very life-like replica belonging to the little girl whose parents own my apartment.  I picked it up and carried it into the kitchen to throw in the trash while the Stupid One followed me staring longingly at the prize in my hand.  Did this stop him? Oh no.  I also ended up taking away his play mouse and hiding it under my pillow and then later a plastic bag.  After he had nothing left, he still managed to crawl under the bed and scratch at nothing while patiently waiting for something else to arrive. What a dumb boy.  As I tell him almost everyday, no one would love him if he weren't so sweet.

I do plan to post some pictures of my current apartment.  I unfortunately do not have time today due to some unforeseen issues that arose this morning and afternoon in human resources and employee health at Metropolitan.  All of that deserves its own blog at a later time.  In the meantime, you will just have to use your imagination.

By the way, Crumbs cupcakes (see yesterday's blog entry) were good.  HOWEVER...I just wasn't quite satisfied with it.  My itch for a cupcake just was not scratched.  So yesterday, I found...drum roll, please...Two Little Red Hens bakery.  Let me just say, the "hens" ate the "crumbs." (Yeah, I know. That was cheesy).  This place was fantastic.  It's a tiny little bakery here on the upper east side. I had a banana cupcake that almost made me fall off my little stool (or maybe that was just the fact that I have a large behind).  Now I know where to go should the itch for a cupcake arise again.

That reminds me...it's been pointed out that I talk about food...a lot. I can't help it.  Food is so good.  But I will try to talk about other things from here on out.  I said TRY. Should you feel the need to make any suggestions regarding topics on this blog, please, for the sake of all that's sweet and delicious, do let me know.