LOCOmotive

So the Metropolitan Transit Authority has been a regular source of weirdness for me lately.  If you are my Facebook friend, then you may already know a little about this.  I felt like everyday last week took place in the public transportation twilight zone.  

First, I was stuck on a train like a stinking sardine, which always makes me a little anxious.  I literally had my hand on the thigh of some guy whose breath smelled about as good as the molded dishes in my sink.  I could do absolutely nothing about this.  While in this position, some homeless man came barreling through us all trying to make his way to the back door of the train that opens up to the platform between cars.  He couldn't quite get the door open in time so he just peed all over himself and all over the floor.  At the next stop, he barreled through everyone again and ran off the train. 

The next day, a bus driver yelled at me in a very mean way for reasons I can't understand.  The night after that a man on the subway fell asleep on me.  After I pushed him off, he insisted on talking to me despite that fact that I put my earphones in my ears and ignored him.  

A couple of nights following that...while on the 2 train coming back from the hospital in the Bronx...a man with a bass guitar made up a song for me.  It went something like this...

"This is for the white lady with the ponytail and white lady only..."

I got sunshine

On the Number 2 Train

When I look at the white lady

She got a college brain

I guess

You'll say

What can make me feel this way

White lady with the ponytail is...

My girl

Talking bout white laaady"

Then something about my name being Amy and me looking like a Barbie. 

I gave him a dollar.

Of course, there is always the normal stuff.  The 20-something-year-old kid who asked me for $5 and then yelled at me about making a doctor's salary and refusing to share.  The homeless man who told me to go to the ATM the other day after I told him I didn't have money.  The couples who scream at each other in front of everyone.  Oh and then my friend's girlfriend who had a man decide to...ahem..."test out his magic wand" right in front of her and then block her from running.  This stuff never ends.  Everyday I am AMAZED at the sheer amount of crazy people here.  You have not seen crazy until you come to New York.  

On a different note, you should know that there are lots of nice people here too.  Granted, they can't always show they are nice, but they are out there.  Take this for example...

I was standing on the platform waiting for a train the other day when somehow I manage to drop my phone.  Picture this - in slow motion - bounce, bounce, plunk.  Rightover the platform and down onto the subway tracks.  So then I just stared in shock at my phone sitting under the tracks.  I had to go through the scenarios in my head.  I had just checked the schedule so I knew that the next train was in 10 minutes.  "Should I crawl down there and get it? If I did, could I get back up?  Was it worth possibly getting hit by a train for a phone?  Crap! I paid hundreds of dollars for that phone.  But it's RIGHT THEEEEERE." And while I stared at my phone in paralyzing shock, a man came over to me and said "how bad do you need it?" I told him I needed it pretty bad.  And then he crawled down into the tracks and got my phone for me.  

Can you believe that? 

I felt SOOOOO guilty and thankful and shocked all at the same time.  The rest of the conversation went like this...

Me: If I had something to give you, I would give you whatever I had.  But I have nothing.

Him: I'm going to work. 

This was followed by him avoiding my gaze, putting his hands in his pockets, and staring at the floor.  So much for human interaction.  Oh well.